shifting heart

There is an obvious shift in my heart since my Dad passed away.
An overwhelming sense that my humanness is profoundly weak, and my
ability to control the world is senseless and needless.
I guess I always knew that...Christine you are NOT in control!
However now I seem to more fully grasp and understand.

My heart doesn't feel as restless or frantic.
I'm fueled by a softer and quieter spirit,
and a sober awareness of strength poured from above.
I feel changed.

Granted...I am still me, with beautiful genetic tendencies towards anxiety and depression.
I am still me, with uncanny abilities to lose sight of the needs of others and become
I am still me, with unfortunate (wifely) high-expectations and conditional grace.
Without a doubt I am still me.
(some of you may be disappointed....) ha!

Yet now my heart holds Jesus more dearly, my husband more lovingly, and my mom more tenderly.
Yes. There is an obvious shift in my heart since my Dad passed away.

Fill all my vision, Savior, I pray, Let me see only Jesus today.
Though through the valley Thou leadest me, 
Thy faceless glory encompasseth me.
Fill all my vision, every desire Keep for Thy glory; my soul inspire
With Thy perfection, thy holy love 
Flooding my pathway with light from above.
Fill all my vision, Saviour divine, Till with Thy glory my spirit shall shine.
Fill all my vision, that all may see Thy Holy Image reflected in me

Fill all my vision, Savior, I pray.
Avis B Christiansen (lyrics)
Homer Hammontree (music)
Worship Hymnal, p.442

1 comment:

joyce said...

I really hate that your dad died. I think I think of it each time I see my own father, and wonder at the unfairness of it all.

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