Dear Liam,
You are awesome. You have incredible courage and determination.

You love meeting new people and potential friends! It was such a pleasure to watch you this past week interact and make friends with the two boys in your class.  I am SO very proud of you.

The Lord knew that I needed a little boy in my life who wasn't afraid of making noise and a big splash now and then.
Keep it up!
Love Mom

a weeks worth

a decade!

This was me, 10 years ago.

I was very pregnant....can you tell?? and heading to the hospital to be induced.  I was 15 days overdue with my first full-term baby, and VERY ready to get...the...show...on...the....road!!!!
I actually remember not leaving the house after about the 8th day overdue, because I got tired of random people asking when the baby was coming.  "geesh people, I DON'T KNOW!!!" (we were living in winkler so it was hard to go anywhere unnoticed). Alas the pregnancy hormones were not kind to me, as I gained 50 lbs (granted I was on bed-rest for half of the pregnancy), developed lots of acne and grew a larger nose.

Ah, but having recently lost a baby at the half way point (4.5 mons pregnant), and then having to deal with the uncertainty of this babies life...I didn't let my faltering appearance steal any of my joy! And, wouldn't you know it, hours after giving birth, my nose noticeably changed back to its original proportions. strange! I. am. a. freak.

Finally home from the hospital, we attempt to take hand and foot prints. I'm looking a tiny bit sleep deprived.

Yes, the first few years of his life were INTENSE, but also full of many, many happy moments. Of course!

Papa reading "Franklin". A favourite picture.

Liam was SO much fun and had the cutest little laugh. 

We lived at the Winkler Bible Camp for part of his 2nd year. It was wonderful having the large grassy fields as our "back yard" and room for him to run around.  

Liam thinking he's playing along with Daddy.

Most of our pictures from Liam's first birthday party are blurry because the little guy just wanted to run around with his Clifford balloon. Nothing else really mattered to him. I remember being all stressed that he wasn't playing with the adults or taking time to eat his cake.  Now i think, who cares??

(rygiel photography)

Liam hasn't really stopped running since those first formative years.
I know I'm the only one to get nostalgic because I am his mother and all....but looking through the old photo albums and baby books, I feel so much gratitude.
Happy 10th birthday to my Liam Josiah.
I can't wait to see what your future has in store.

8 is great

well, even when we try to hold the moments and pause the childhood days,
time keeps marching on.

our little 6 lb. baby girl turned 8 this weekend!

 she sure is special and loved.

compassion

today the kids were home from school.
again.
no school Thursday and Friday.
days like today confirm why I do not home-school.
yup.
its good to have that reminder now and again.
(now..and NOT again for a little while, thanks...)

When the kids and I are home alone, I provide structure.
I can do that. I cannot home-school, but I can provide structure.
Its actually the only way to prevent injury and bodily harm.
well, lets just say it helps to "keep the peace".

I like to divide the day into segments of  "quiet choice time" and "electronic time".
1 or the other.
Playing Harry Potter on Ps3 does not fall under the "quiet choice time" category.
Just so you know.

And since a routine and schedule are key factors to avoiding anyone (i.e. mother)
reatreating to the quiet car, in the quiet garage for refuge....
I have the very important job of monitering the oven timer.
you want 30 min. of wii time? you go to the living room and read for 30 min.

I like to spend all day sitting in front of the oven pressing minutes into the timer.
i enjoy that as much as I enjoy giving ideas of what to do throughout the day!
sometimes I say things like:
YOU HAVE 5 MIN. LEFT.
STOP FIGHTING.
WHY DON'T YOU PLAY OUTSIDE??
YOU HAVE MORE TOYS IN YOUR ROOM THAN THE ENTIRE TOYS R' US STORE. 
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU  HAVE NOTHING TO DO?
YOU ARE BORED?
THEN COME WIPE THE TABLE.
I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

In-between those brilliant exchanges of conversation I occasionally rise from my chair in front of the oven ...and do stretches.
Its good stuff.

Now i HAD envisioned that the children and I would at some point, take time together to write to our "compassion kids in Africa".
what a happy moment that would be!
no oven timer needed for those moments of bonding and showing concern for others....
but alas, drawing pictures/ writing thoughtful notes was not an appealing choice for any of their "quiet choice times".
Neither was UNO surprisingly.
I really like UNO.
by the way. you really can't play UNO by yourself.
especially if you are sitting in front of an oven and have to bend down to play the cards on the floor.


So. I wrote and sent greetings from Liam and Bronte....myself!
Mrs. Rygiel sends greetings on behalf of Liam and Brontë, her children, who prefer time spent playing their loud, addictive video games to writing a letter. We will try again another time.  For the time being, please accept my attached drawing of the Savannah and the elephants eating grass..... 
Yours sincerely, Mrs. Rygiel.

tempting as it was, I didn't keep the letter.
I pulled out a fresh piece of paper and wrote about winter sports instead.
I thought that would be an interesting subject for 8 and 10 year old children.?!

But how does one explain skating to a child who hasn't experienced or
most likely ever seen snow or ice?
I thought of that a little too late....
don't think I did a very good job.
I should have drawn a picture of a skater or perhaps just another elephant on skates!?! 
that would have been better.

The kids were however (thankfully) interested in this compassion video that I forced and threatened them gently persuaded them to watch. I wanted to to ensure they understood WHY we needed to write letters and stay in touch with our "compassion kids from africa" (we are working on pronouncing their names).
As the neat little video came to a close.... Liam responded with,  "i feel like crying!"-
and brontë said "yah mom, we should really write to them more."
hmmmmm.
ok.
good thing that hadn't thought of that.
must say, I was comforted in the fact that they seemed to understand the need to do the letters consistently. This wasn't just one of mom's ideas to get them to work on writing and spelling.....

Those kids.
My prayer is that we can somehow instill in our children, a love and a compassion for those less fortunate.
oh how I pray they will see the world beyond themselves.
oh how I pray that I will see the world beyond myself.

my dear

my dear sweet boy.
we've been on a long journey together,
and its only been 10 years.
i am so, SO proud of him.

he is very aware of his emotions, his limitations
and his struggles.

this book has helped him.
i find it on the floor by his bed,
knowing that he's remembered and read it.

These moments of realization (that he's had a tough time),
bring an ache to my heart.
His mind has filled with fear, usually unfounded, imaginary fear.
fear that as a mother, i can't "kiss away" and make better.
and that ache (as mothers know), is vast and heavy.

So every night (or whenever i get the chance),
I tell him how much he means to me.
I remind him that he has overcome many, many things.
He knows what I'm referring to.
I tell him that I don't want to change anything about him,
He is PERFECT just the way he is.
Right now.
and i mean, and believe...every word.

I am thankful for a son like Liam.

time moves quickly

Fall 2006

(notice windows still covered with plastic. shutters and garage waiting to be painted)

When we moved into 66 Brabant Cove.

The kids, age 2 and 4.

now.....

Fall 2011

The kids, gr. 2 and 4!?

amazing.

When people say things to you like;

"The days seem long, but the years are short,"

or

"Once your children start school, time just flies by,"

or

"Enjoy this time when your kids are small, they won't be small forever"....

...believe them!

Its so true.

rainbows and the wild west

Two highlights from the last few days....

Savouring the magnificence of a rainbow....

 and watching an expedition (to search for gold and wild horses); involving a ton of imagination, and half of my bedroom closet.

Can't say it was as pretty as the rainbow, but it sure was entertaining.

clean freak

Our house was put on the market last week, and sold yesterday.
What a process!!
 (word to the wise, don't attempt to sell your home unless you are REALLY serious. really).

Problem is, now that we are finished the "showings" and have moved back in, my tolerance for any extra clutter is very low. Against the backdrop of the steam cleaned carpet, empty bookshelves and bare counters, every piece of paper...every tupperware cup...every kids toy... every pile of books, screams, "out of order! out of order! out of order!".  Its incredible how our glistening, perfectly clean home took less than 24 hours to be trashed. sigh.

Why do people need to use the bathroom or sleep under their blankets anyway? It just creates work and disorder!! Wouldn't life be easier if we had an outhouse and just ate out all the time?
Um....no.

I know there is no use in trying to keep this place looking fabulous. I know there is no way I will be able to limit the use of the bathroom (so sad). I know I can't maintain the beautifully symmetrical displayed dishes in my cupboard by serving dinner on paper plates, and I know that I can't force the children to do "hospital corners" when making their beds (been there, done that-not pretty). A girl can dream though, right?

We wouldn't be "living", if I tried to win that losing battle, and strive to keep the house "show-home" perfect. I'd turn into an evil drill sergeant, demanding the impossible!! I'm closer on the scale to "serious/mean mom" than "fun/crazy mom" as is...so I don't think I'd be doing myself any favours by clinging onto that dream.
Good thing we took pictures. 

survivial of the camp-out

The fresh evening air wafting through the screened flap of the tent, and the sound of cars slowing driving past the house, pleasantly lulled the kids and I into slumber. This impromptu sleep-over in my parents tent (in their back-yard!), was one of those "lets make a memory" endeavors that I did FAR more for the kids, than for myself . To be honest the thought of sleeping between 2 cranky children who had spent the entire day bickering and complaining, didn't exactly appeal to me...in fact it made me quite nauseous. I could envision the whole scenario playing out in my head, the kids and I in an enclosed tent the size of a closet (every possible exposed space covered with toys), requests for late-night snacks, complaints and whining of strange smells, hard surfaces and...loud breathing.... What am I a super-parent?? I need to see my contract, ask for a raise before committing to something this crazy!

But at 10:30 p.m (which felt more like 4 am), after the babes were asleep and my own eyes started drooping; all the fighting, melt-downs, and public humiliation of the day, seemed light -years away. Even the little knee carved into my back didn't (quite) seem as bothersome. What was it about the great out-doors that stirred and softened my heart? What was it about the sound of my children's slumber that made me so easily forgive, and overlook the blatant fits of disobedience from the day past?

As a parent, I WANT to forgive, and give that second chance. I want to move past the "teachable moments" and just have "moments" together! Plus having inhaled half the bottle of "off" mosquito repellent-(THANKS to someone deciding they were old enough to spray themselves, and half the town of winkler), I was just ready to move past the ugliness and get some sleep!

Thankfully, the peace and quiet that follows a troublesome, stressful day feels much sweeter, and far richer, than a dozen uneventful, quiet, obedient days (no i am not deluded....anymore). Stillness proceeding turbulence is powerful and so very enriching.

please note: I wouldn't ASK (or recommend) for every long day to end in a camp-out, just for the sake of experiencing the "sweetness"....but its certainly a wonderful gift when you need it most.