a break

i write a lot about my depression...

its helped me sort things out, and feel part of a "community".

types of depression

i write openly about the painful times
primarily
to whittle away at the ugly stigma.

However, i want to be sure to share and write about the days that I feel..."Well".
to include the GOOD, with the bad and the ugly....

Yesterday was one of those days.

what was different?
why were my symptoms less evident?

common speculations of course would be...
~did i win a trip to Alaska?
nope.
~was i FINALLY featured on the cover of Country Women magazine?

CW cover girl

nope.

~did we receive news that our house would soon be finished?

nope.
~did i watch a marathon of Murder She wrote??
unfortunately ...no.
my day was better simply because I had energy, and felt like being productive!!

that's me.

that's it folks.
that's all it took
who wants to go to Alaska anyway?
i do.
were all my hormones and neurotransmitters aligned/firing/singing/laughing/working... to the best of "their abilities"?
i do not know.
did kent slip something into my chocolate milk the night previous??
i do not know. (probably)
?
WHATEVER the reason,
yesterday...
motivation replaced guilt and clear, focused thinking replaced fuzziness and confusion.
what a fantastic break.

i WANTED to clean out the kids rooms, the bathrooms and wash the floor.
did you catch that?
I felt that old surge of determination and excitement, knowing i'd rid the house of dirt and clutter.
I had the desire to tackle projects and house work.

That is huge my friends.
HUGE.

a piece of the "old, healthier me" showed up yesterday.
and that felt just wonderful.