two

I long for things.

I wish for things...
dream about things...

Longings aren't quite the same as a wish or a dream.

They resemble more of a yearning
tucked away into the deepest,
most secret places of the heart.
they are rarely spoken of, rarely shared.
maybe whispered or shared hesitantly, carefully.

I long for acceptance.
I long for tenderness.
I long to be loved.
I long to be with Jesus in heaven.
I long for peace.

Longing for..(something), doesn't necessarily mean that it is lacking in your life.
I AM loved, I trust Jesus will take me home when its my time, I DO experience tenderness.
Yet.
I believe God places longings in our hearts that can only be filled by Him...
over     the     course     of     our     entire    life.
We continue to long for more.
That is good. That is how it should be.
{Nicole Johnson taught me this years ago at a youth leaders conference, and then in her book Fresh Brewed Life.}

I desperately long for Peace...for so many reasons.

So.
Lent. The giving up...and giving of myself.
For week two: Search scripture and literature for guidance on how to GIVE, and share peace. 
Not just as a "peace-maker" for the squabbles between the kids,
or in the conversations with my husband.
I want to have peace overflowing in my heart. Is that possible?
But what does that mean for me? What will that look like?
It may mean being vulnerable.
It may mean working on some painful relationships...
putting others (difficult "others") before myself.

This could be too challenging for me...

ah,
but~
Peace.
those places in my life that that need, that long to be filled.
Help me Lord.

Phillipians 4:7
John 14:27

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen. 

-St. Francis of assisi (13th century)