1.5.12

time heals all wounds

does the passing of time heal our wounds?
what do you think?
i'm not exactly sure.
i was pondering that familiar phrase just now as my hands busily washed dishes
and scrubbed pans.
(a great time and place to think and reflect, is it not?)

on sunday as i was enjoying an afternoon of painting at a local
ceramics shop; i saw out of the corner of my eye someone from "the past"...
a woman i used to be incredibly close to, someone i looked up to,
and at one time accepted as the sister (in law) i always wanted.

seeing her briefly at the store, knowing that she also chose
to pretend and ignore my presence, wasn't shocking.
it wasn't the first (or last) time.
i felt sad though.
that we had to pretend....
when years ago we had celebrated christmas's, family birthdays,
even confidences together.
now we were just strangers,
sharing a space.

Has time healed that wound?

Time has strengthened my understanding of how marriage is not easy,
and probably wasn't for my sister in law. There is grace now, where there wasn't
grace before. Time has enabled me handle our "encounters" without getting shaky
and emotional.

Our wounds change us. and time passing though helpful, does not change us back
to how we were "before".....or heal us completely. (as much as we'd like it to).
I think time rather, can help us live and adapt within that inevitable change.
to form some sort of new existence, and grasp onto some sort of truth.
to move forward...

Its tough.

4 comments:

Pennerfive said...

Hello dear one.

I don't think time does heal all wounds.

I think time sees the process of the sore, then the scab, then the scar tissue form. But I have a lot of spots on me with scar tissue and they still hurt.

I can only imagine the trapped feeling you must have had... how you had to keep going and painting and chatting, but inside your world was colliding with your old one.

I think some wounds stay. They are scars that tell your story. I wish I had a different answer or opinion, but I don't.

xo to you today.
Karla

Audrey said...

Christine,

I read this post a few days ago, and it's words have stuck with me and come to the forefront of my thoughts several times.

There was a time when I thought very unkind thoughts about those who glibly said to me that time would heal my shattered heart. It's not a helpful thing to say to someone in the midst of pain.

And yet, I've come to see that time does allow for varying degrees of healing to happen in our lives. But only if we choose to look for the healing. Early on in my experience with very big pain, I chose to seek healing for my shattered heart. To be open to something positive to come from the pain. I did not want to survive the heartache and not change or grow in my faith or character. And while much time has passed, there are scars which remain. The acute, crippling, devastating pain has passed, but only because my heavenly Father has eased it. Had I clung to the pain, chosen to dwell daily in bitterness, constantly reliving and retelling the story of the pain, there would be no healing regardless of how much time passed.

I agree with your conclusion. Time "can help us live and adapt within that inevitable change". Pain changes us. It changes our relationships. And yet time can help us find the grace to face the changes.

christine said...

thanks so much. xo i appreciate your words karla and audrey. very, very true.

66books365 said...

This post gets to me. It's been 2 years since my relationship fractured. She was a mentor and good friend and I trusted her with very precious things. It has never made sense to me how one day she smiled and hugged me at her doorstep, and the next day wouldn't even look in my direction--like I didn't exist. In time, it hurts less in that I don't cry over her. But that fracture in life clearly separates what was from what is, and life won't be the same.

Courtney

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