I'm in a space these days that is not pretty to anyone looking in. My face and body appear as an impenetrable bubble repelling even the softest expressions of comfort and the sweetest gestures of compassion.
I know the little ones study me and can't help feeling hurt and betrayed.
"How can I help you?" I read. Its a text from my mom. I love that she asks. "Just be yourself", I text back. Which means if you read between the lines...don't avoid me because you don't know what to say, don't judge me, don't give up on me, see my beauty with eyes brimming with grace.
I am grateful in this bubble. A cup overflowing with gratitude helps the anger, the pity, the fear go down. In the most delightful way. (Cue the twittering fake bird on the window sill). but as it goes down, and sinks in, it also threatens to destroy.
-marriages typically don't survive this
...the PDD, the therapies, the doctors, the pressure.
-we need to hire private therapy again -so many things are improving
-so many things are not
-somedays the patience and consistency of a patron saint are required.
-some days it all seems too much.