rainbows and the wild west

Two highlights from the last few days....

Savouring the magnificence of a rainbow....

 and watching an expedition (to search for gold and wild horses); involving a ton of imagination, and half of my bedroom closet.

Can't say it was as pretty as the rainbow, but it sure was entertaining.

The last lecture

Watch this. Trust me, you'll be glad you did.

a letter

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

 1 You have searched me, LORD,

   and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;

   you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;

   you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue

   you, LORD, know it completely.

5 You hem me in behind and before,

   and you lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

   too lofty for me to attain.

 7 Where can I go from your Spirit?

   Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

   if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,

   your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

   and the light become night around me,”

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;

   the night will shine like the day,

   for darkness is as light to you.

I haven't been able to sleep, mostly because of fear and doubt. I am awake again at sunrise, watching the sky change colour. Uncertainty falls over me like a weighted blanket, suffocating and covering me in darkness. But you are everywhere God, even in this time of uncertainty.

Sometimes in my blindness I see you more clearly.

You are here. I know you are. Thank you. Thank you for your wisdom, your promises, your unfailing love. Thank you for your power. Turn my thoughts away from the perceived failures that fester and threaten to overcome my spirit. Open my eyes to your goodness and instruction.

So much I praise you for Father. My family, my home, my health, my sight, my hearing, your love and your mercy. The geese that fly by and the new day that has dawned. For your son Jesus.

Remove the hindering burden of worry, doubt and fear; destroy the hovering negative thoughts that pollute.

I pray.

You made the brilliant stars that light up the dark sky at night and the breathtaking heavens that open and welcome each new day. Thank you for the hours, weeks and calendar days; how you surround us with seasons and predictable change. You made us creatures of routine and structure. 

The sun rises and sets each and every day.

I must remember to meditate on all the wonders of your glory. Thank you for accepting what I can give.

Even though at times it feels so small. Thank you for making me-me.

I love you.

dry place

It has been awhile since I've visited here, this place of self expression and community.
Can't say I've been abnormally busy, or geographically separated from the world wide web.
I have simply felt a little dry lately. Lacking in inspiration and motivation.
Not down necessarily, or discouraged...just... parched.

So in this parched/dry/boring state of mind I've been reading the book "SexGod-exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality" by Rob Bell, and finding it most enlightening.
Interesting title isn't it?!
I read this portion yesterday, and it struck me how weak my resolve can become when I spend too much time WANTING... 

"When we are not at peace, when we aren't content, when we aren't in a good place, our radar gets turned on. We're looking. Searching. And we're sensory creatures, so it won't be long before something, or somebody catches our attention.

And it always revolves around the "if" doesn't it?

The idea creeps into our head and heart that we are lacking, that we are incomplete, that this craving in front of us is the answer.

The "if" means we have become attached to the idea that we are missing something and that we can be satisfied by whatever it is we have in our sights. There's a hole, a space, a gap, and we're on the search. And we may not even realize it. When we are in the right place, the right space-content and at peace-we aren't on the search, and our radar gets turned off." (p.73)

So comfortably and effortlessly, I live on Discontentment Street, inwardly complaining about how much I lack and need. And sadly, most of the time, not even noticing how much, and even WHAT I'm craving or unhappy about.
I guess that's why its so easy, when one is down or unhappy, to fall into the traps and lies of lust and discontentment.

I pray that I seek gratitude in my life..and then offer it up to God.
He will help me become refreshed.