Dad is needed

I put a few more miles on the car today and drove our youngest up to Faith Bible Camp. A beautiful camp out at Victoria beach where Kent is working as this weeks camp director.

As much as I try to create fun, full, planned days with the children in his absence, there isn't anything quite like time spent with the real deal. Time with DAD.

When mom attempts to be funny or silly (like dear old DAd), her children look disturbed concerned instead of amused. When mom attempts to "play" video games with the children-as DAD loves to do, she is politely asked to quit mid-game so that it can "really be played." well! When mom attempts to tell bedtime stories like Dad, she again comes up short because she just isn't as "interesting".  SO, let it be known that I cannot be mom and dad to our two beautiful, sweet, endearing, tiring, hungry, bored, electronically-addicted...did i mention hundry? children. I just can't.

Thankfully I won't need to invest a whole lot more time trying (whew). As of today, the calendar has been turned to August, and with that progression to a new month comes the promise of a family reunited. Yay! (*until I take off for my own personal vacation*) Yay!

a decade!

This was me, 10 years ago.

I was very pregnant....can you tell?? and heading to the hospital to be induced.  I was 15 days overdue with my first full-term baby, and VERY ready to get...the...show...on...the....road!!!!
I actually remember not leaving the house after about the 8th day overdue, because I got tired of random people asking when the baby was coming.  "geesh people, I DON'T KNOW!!!" (we were living in winkler so it was hard to go anywhere unnoticed). Alas the pregnancy hormones were not kind to me, as I gained 50 lbs (granted I was on bed-rest for half of the pregnancy), developed lots of acne and grew a larger nose.

Ah, but having recently lost a baby at the half way point (4.5 mons pregnant), and then having to deal with the uncertainty of this babies life...I didn't let my faltering appearance steal any of my joy! And, wouldn't you know it, hours after giving birth, my nose noticeably changed back to its original proportions. strange! I. am. a. freak.

Finally home from the hospital, we attempt to take hand and foot prints. I'm looking a tiny bit sleep deprived.

Yes, the first few years of his life were INTENSE, but also full of many, many happy moments. Of course!

Papa reading "Franklin". A favourite picture.

Liam was SO much fun and had the cutest little laugh. 

We lived at the Winkler Bible Camp for part of his 2nd year. It was wonderful having the large grassy fields as our "back yard" and room for him to run around.  

Liam thinking he's playing along with Daddy.

Most of our pictures from Liam's first birthday party are blurry because the little guy just wanted to run around with his Clifford balloon. Nothing else really mattered to him. I remember being all stressed that he wasn't playing with the adults or taking time to eat his cake.  Now i think, who cares??

(rygiel photography)

Liam hasn't really stopped running since those first formative years.
I know I'm the only one to get nostalgic because I am his mother and all....but looking through the old photo albums and baby books, I feel so much gratitude.
Happy 10th birthday to my Liam Josiah.
I can't wait to see what your future has in store.

Thanksgiving

I am overwhelmed with gratitude on a night like tonight.
A night when the evening was long and the children were tired,
when the homework was stressful and defiance was rampant.
On a night when my patience was absent, and my anxiety was high-
I give thanks.

I am filled with thanksgiving, for the promise of a new day;
for the innocence and beauty of sleeping children.
for little hearts brimming and ready with forgiveness,
for unconditional affection and overwhelming love-
I give thanks.

I am overcome with praise for a Heavenly Father,
who gave me this unpredictable life;
with its failures and struggles, and abundance of beauty.
I give thanks on this night for the realization that in spite of my shortcomings;
I am surrounded by His love and the love of a family.
And so, for that and so much more-
I give thanks.

dry place

It has been awhile since I've visited here, this place of self expression and community.
Can't say I've been abnormally busy, or geographically separated from the world wide web.
I have simply felt a little dry lately. Lacking in inspiration and motivation.
Not down necessarily, or discouraged...just... parched.

So in this parched/dry/boring state of mind I've been reading the book "SexGod-exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality" by Rob Bell, and finding it most enlightening.
Interesting title isn't it?!
I read this portion yesterday, and it struck me how weak my resolve can become when I spend too much time WANTING... 

"When we are not at peace, when we aren't content, when we aren't in a good place, our radar gets turned on. We're looking. Searching. And we're sensory creatures, so it won't be long before something, or somebody catches our attention.

And it always revolves around the "if" doesn't it?

The idea creeps into our head and heart that we are lacking, that we are incomplete, that this craving in front of us is the answer.

The "if" means we have become attached to the idea that we are missing something and that we can be satisfied by whatever it is we have in our sights. There's a hole, a space, a gap, and we're on the search. And we may not even realize it. When we are in the right place, the right space-content and at peace-we aren't on the search, and our radar gets turned off." (p.73)

So comfortably and effortlessly, I live on Discontentment Street, inwardly complaining about how much I lack and need. And sadly, most of the time, not even noticing how much, and even WHAT I'm craving or unhappy about.
I guess that's why its so easy, when one is down or unhappy, to fall into the traps and lies of lust and discontentment.

I pray that I seek gratitude in my life..and then offer it up to God.
He will help me become refreshed.