going back to work

I am the newest employee at one of the local Hallmark stores....and...I like it!
Yes, i am glad to report, that the hustle and bustle of Christmas shoppers,
money exchanging, gingerbread men singing, and parcel wrapping...has been a welcome transition and positive experience for me.

I just wish that I had naturally pretty nails and hands....

weird and random statement, i know.
But people watch my hands at the till. oh yes. How I hold and turn over the purchase, remove a price tag, punch numbers into the debit machine, give them a pen to sign their name, pop it into a bag. My hands get a lot of attention these days. And so its unfortunate that my neglected cuticles and chewed-up nail tips (that actually sounds gross), are not as becoming as a well manicured, gelled/ acrylic set of nails could be! but every time I go to the phone to make an appointment, I change my mind....because really, deep down...I don't care! And I don't want to spend the money.

I think that it would be NICE to have pretty nails, but now that I'm approaching this kind of job at a later time in my life, I really....truly....couldn't be bothered.

Actually, and here's the thing -the reason behind this post (not so much the condition of my nails).
I've realized that as a "thirty something" woman, I don't care about a lot of things I used to. Well, at least some of the shallow, insignificant things I did as a "twenty something", woman. It's so refreshing! Being surrounded by male and female staff (mostly) under the age of 23, has certainly reiterated this fact in my brain...and made me mindful of how aging can be a blessing MORE than a curse.

4 WAYS I AM EMBRACING RETAIL WORK AS A 30-SOMETHING OR OTHER- WOMAN (as compared to the way I embraced retail work as a 20-something or other-woman)

1. I do not care if my shoes "go" with my outfit, and I look old fashioned. Comfort REALLY appeals to me far more than looking "stylish", especially when on my feet for several hours. Plus, this is not BUCKLE...its HALLMARK.
2. I do not mentally beat myself up (too much), when I make mistakes. I have a full, rewarding life outside of my job, so I try not to worry about the candle order I misplaced, or the box of fragile ornaments I stepped on.....
3. I do not nervously anticipate working with the "cute guys" like I used to. INDEED... I am no longer teasing and checking my bangs during break. I can chatter away confidently (but innocently!) with male coworkers...because I am no longer looking for my future husband! how lovely.
4. Obnoxious, and angry customers do not scare me. I realize (in my "maturity"), that most cranky shoppers are stressed, don't necessarily hate ME, and most likely have problems running deeper than the inability to return a Tinkerbell Christmas ornament without their receipt.

Getting older provides wonderful perspective, a special kind of wisdom only obtained once you've "been there, done that"....or are too old to care. Which ever comes first.

image source

hidden beauty

Many years ago (during my summers home from university), I worked as a Health Care Aide in a nursing home.

I loved it.

I loved the ability to help people in a real and tangible way.

I loved how simply stopping and crouching down to speak with a resident in a wheelchair, seemed to transform their vacant stares into bright expressions.

So many beautiful elderly ladies.
They reminded me of my Grosmama.
Soft white hair braided and pinned into a "schups" (bun).
Soft smiles.
Wisdom behind the tired, sparkly eyes.

Assisting, guiding, transfering, feeding, bathing, dressing, lifting, comforting, hugging, caring.

Carefully i would help frail arms through dress sleeves...
Gently, with respect for the person before me,
I would button-up clothing, and comb thinning hair.

I couldn't help but notice...
The arms and faces of these women,
how they revealed evidence of aging, stress, and thousands of sunny days.
Working out on the field, exposed to the heat.
Wrinkles, sun-spots, calloused hands.

Yet underneath the fabric....on the shoulders and back,
appeared the skin of a much younger woman.
Such a contrast.
Completely protected over the years from the earth's elements,
A beauty that was covered and hidden.
wrinkle free.
Unblemished and ageless.

aging attraction

(summer 2010, US/ Mexican border crossing. we were stressed-hoping the mexicans would let 2 van loads of young people in without suspicion or problem...which one of us looks a little tense??)

When you live with someone (i.e. your spouse), you can't help but notice how, and when, they start showing signs of aging. Looking up-close, I notice little brown sun-spots around Kent's eyes (probably from the 30 summers spent at camp...), wrinkles stretched out across his forehead, and white-hair cropping up in his sideburns (most likely from that mission trip....).

I love the fact that Kent is (almost) 38 39(Whoops had to edit), and looks.....older.

I love how he is more attractive to me now, then when we first met 15 years ago. Really!

That "appeal" of his goes beyond the tall, dark and handsome (celebrity double-Vince vaughn) good looks. Its the incredible bonds of familiarity and fondness formed in a marriage over time (and with hard work)....that makes him irresistible! *sorry if this lovey-dovey stuff is making you slightly sick.

AND I'm counting on the fact that my wrinkles, graying hair, sagging parts, and facial hairs... are just as endearing and attractive to him! Thank you very much.