heaviness

For years, a friend of ours, who happens to be a counsellor, has been offering to meet with me to "talk".
There have been many occasions where we have prayed together and visited together...but just as friends.  We've never really taken on the roles of "therapist" and "client".  My insecurities limited my ability to see that she WANTED to give me guidance, and I let my fear of becoming a burden, overshadow her graciousness.  So in all the years I've known her, I've never taken her up on her warm invitation.
Until now.
I felt an unmistakable nudging to open my heart to her. To unpack the boxes of confusion, and resentment, that I'd been so awkwardly lugging around. Yesterday morning, I threw out any silly notion about being "needy", and went for that much needed session.

Her words of wisdom lifted layers of ignorance from my eyes and my heart. She showed me where I'd had inappropriate expectations, and been causing someone dear to me a great deal of pain.

My friend provided wisdom, clarity and truth.
She directed me to hope. Weightless, freeing, HOPE.

The loaded sense of selfishness, confusion, and resentment is gone.
Thank goodness..... one less thing to move into our new place.

Reliance

Help me God, 

To talk to you when I am angry and frustrated,

...instead of running to an unhealthy "quick fix".

Help me rely on You for everything.

I don't know the way.