"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Farewell my blessing season this in thee."
-Shakespear ("Polonius" -Hamlet)
-Shakespear ("Polonius" -Hamlet)
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
17.1.13
14.2.12
all you need is love! and a memory.
There are some advantages or "perks" to working at Hallmark.
Staff get first dibs of all the wonderful holiday cards and crap seasonal nic-nacs, and collectibles.....
that are displayed 2-5 months leading up to the actual holiday.
And I LOVE cards, so i enjoy helping people pick them out. I also love hearing people's stories...why they are buying a sympathy card, or a baptism card etc. Most people are very open, and I've had the chance to meet and visit with some interesting people in the store.
"Val" ( that's hallmark-speak for valentines, so you know...) cards are unpacked and strategically on the shelves January 2nd. So those bright red, pink, and velvet bits of decorated card-stock stare back at us from across from the cash for weeks and weeks. Its not torturous, but when someone buys one of the valentine plush toys that coos and sings, or the spanish speaking stuffed bull, we all do an inward whoop and a cheer. One less animated, noisy creature to listen too and look at!!
ok its not THAT bad---I actually fell in love with the spanish bull (Fernando?) who promises to "luff you forrrr-everrrr". Just can't justify buying it for kent for some reason. maybe for myself?
The problem is that it the holiday loses someone of its charm, when you watch other people preparing for it. I lost track of time during the Christmas season.... Christmas Day seemed to come out of no-where! I kept thinking we had another month to sell/find the limited addition collectable Hallmark keepsake ornaments, and neglected to buy Kent a christmas card in time.
??
*side note: I haven't heard Hallmark-speak for easter yet....i'm guessing its going to be "east".
Ok so, I made sure I bought Kent a valentines card immediately after they were put out. So that was good. This time I would be ready! But alas yesterday night when he came home with flowers, chocolate and wine (extra points for the wine!), I mistakenly thought he was presenting me with a gift of repentance...we had argued for the first time yesterday, and i naturally thought this was his way of saying sorry. But no! it was my Valentine's Day present!
ohhhh right..
tomorrow is valentine's day.
i had forgotten that valentines wasn't just making sure the children signed their name on 56 miniature cards for their classmates. I had a sweetheart. or "LUFF-UUR" as Fernando would say. I could be a part of this celebrated holiday too!
Sadly I forgot where I put his valentines card, the one that was bought and hidden back in January.
Maybe at "East" i'll get it right.
Staff get first dibs of all the wonderful holiday cards and that are displayed 2-5 months leading up to the actual holiday.
And I LOVE cards, so i enjoy helping people pick them out. I also love hearing people's stories...why they are buying a sympathy card, or a baptism card etc. Most people are very open, and I've had the chance to meet and visit with some interesting people in the store.
ok its not THAT bad---I actually fell in love with the spanish bull (Fernando?) who promises to "luff you forrrr-everrrr". Just can't justify buying it for kent for some reason. maybe for myself?
The problem is that it the holiday loses someone of its charm, when you watch other people preparing for it. I lost track of time during the Christmas season.... Christmas Day seemed to come out of no-where! I kept thinking we had another month to sell/find the limited addition collectable Hallmark keepsake ornaments, and neglected to buy Kent a christmas card in time.
??
*side note: I haven't heard Hallmark-speak for easter yet....i'm guessing its going to be "east".
Ok so, I made sure I bought Kent a valentines card immediately after they were put out. So that was good. This time I would be ready! But alas yesterday night when he came home with flowers, chocolate and wine (extra points for the wine!), I mistakenly thought he was presenting me with a gift of repentance...we had argued for the first time yesterday, and i naturally thought this was his way of saying sorry. But no! it was my Valentine's Day present!
tomorrow is valentine's day.
i had forgotten that valentines wasn't just making sure the children signed their name on 56 miniature cards for their classmates. I had a sweetheart. or "LUFF-UUR" as Fernando would say. I could be a part of this celebrated holiday too!
Sadly I forgot where I put his valentines card, the one that was bought and hidden back in January.
Maybe at "East" i'll get it right.
21.12.11
the gift of love
No matter what shape our hearts are in, whether they are down-cast, broken, troubled, or joyful, Jesus invites us to come to Him. To come before Him in worship and thanksgiving, offering up our lives. No life is too dark, too depressed, too desolate for his acceptance.
Jesus, our Saviour and Lord, left Heaven's paradise to become vulnerable and helpless like you and I.
He made himself humble, and entered the world in the simplest of ways, to show us that true love- God's love isn't about glamour or earthly power....its about sacrifice, grace, mercy and forgiveness.
Jesus, our Saviour and Lord, left Heaven's paradise to become vulnerable and helpless like you and I.
He made himself humble, and entered the world in the simplest of ways, to show us that true love- God's love isn't about glamour or earthly power....its about sacrifice, grace, mercy and forgiveness.
I'll give Him my Heart
by Carol Cymbala
What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a Shepherd,
I would bring a lamb.
If I were a wise man,
I'd sure do my part.
So what can I give Him?
I'll give Him my heart.
What can I give Him
But all of my heart?
What can you give Him?
What can you bring?
What can you offer
That's fit for a King?
Bow before Jesus,
That's where you can start.
What can you give Him?
Just give Him your heart.
I would bring a lamb.
If I were a wise man,
I'd sure do my part.
So what can I give Him?
I'll give Him my heart.
What can I give Him
But all of my heart?
What can you give Him?
What can you bring?
What can you offer
That's fit for a King?
Bow before Jesus,
That's where you can start.
What can you give Him?
Just give Him your heart.
When I am overcome with fear, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, resentment or hurt; I know that I can still offer my life to him. I am not useless to Him, I am not ugly to Him, I am not pathetic to Him. When I approach Jesus through prayer, I am welcomed unconditionally. Without blame, without condemnation, without pity or disgust. My saviour wants nothing, not even mental illness to separate us from Him.
What can I give my Lord?
Everything. I will give him everything. And He will think it is beautiful.
Here I am to Worship by Chris Tomlin
Light of the world
You stepped down into darkness.
Opened my eyes, let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You
Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
All together worthy,
All together wonderful to me
King of all days
oh, so highly exalted
Glorious in heaven above
Humbly You came
To the earth You created
All for Love's sake became poor
I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
You stepped down into darkness.
Opened my eyes, let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You
Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
All together worthy,
All together wonderful to me
King of all days
oh, so highly exalted
Glorious in heaven above
Humbly You came
To the earth You created
All for Love's sake became poor
I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
30.6.11
a lesson at school today
And this morning in chapel I cried.
Not because my children will be with me 24/7 for the next few months...
(that will hit me tomorrow morning)
But because I was reminded of how EVERYONE is accepted in God's kingdom.
I watched a sweet gr. 6 girl, with down syndrome sign and sing during worship.
And then I watched my son (hair sticking straight up, shorts pulled up too high) rocking back and forth to the beat of the music, singing at the top of his lungs.
My heart SANG with JOY, and I struggled to hold back a pouring of tears.
Because at that moment it just hit me....like a powerful jolt to my heart...
The reminder that in God's kingdom there are no limitations, no dress codes, no skill tests, no required IQ.
We are not required to follow a complicated regime of disciplines in order to gain access to HIM.
We do not have to face a certain direction to pray, or achieve levels of nirvana in meditation to be rewarded with eternal life. There are no external, physical requirements to loving, and worshiping God.
Whether we have brain damage, a learning disability, a neurological delay, a mental illness, a degenerative illness, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, down syndrome, YOU NAME IT....our spirit can remain accessible, and expressive.
Anyone can bring Glory and Honor to Him.
We give what we can...
we offer ourselves, our battered bruised, imperfect selves.
And we are guaranteed acceptance and love...
because HE loved us first.
23.6.11
free refills
Hi, my name is Christine, and I'm addicted to validation.
(whoa. that's pretty heavy....but actually truer than I'd like to admit!)
Now, I can't trace the origin of this dependency, or the precise time this need became evident. All I know is that my perceived need for it is alive and well, and without considerable discipline (at which i am failing) my self-worth completely plummets.
So I wonder....how much does this need for validation have to do with my insecurities?
Or is it more of a problem with my pride, masked as a more acceptable struggle called "low self esteem"?
Its as if I daily shove an empty cup of my longings in front of my husband, my parents, my close friends, (even facebook friends)...hoping for it to be filled, and hoping to feel satisfied (with myself). But when people push me aside, don't say anything, or respond by producing their own cup of longings ....I get desperate! I think...I can't come up empty! I can't! Don't I matter to people? Don't i deserve some attention and admiration?
So why do I wait for the world to validate me, when I know the Jesus does already? Why do I become so desperate for that "ok" from my peers, long so deeply for my husband to come through with my every need, and feel so empty when I fail...
...when no one, or nothing truly fills my every need?
...when, as a follower of Jesus, I am not supposed to EXPECT validation?
Why do I so often miss the boat, and blame others for not coming through for me.....depend on another human to make me completely happy?
It's really too bad.
Its like I'm blindly holding a cup up to the sky, expecting something to fill it.... when all the while, right beside me, is a powerful, beautiful waterfall thundering down with fresh water.
(whoa. that's pretty heavy....but actually truer than I'd like to admit!)
Now, I can't trace the origin of this dependency, or the precise time this need became evident. All I know is that my perceived need for it is alive and well, and without considerable discipline (at which i am failing) my self-worth completely plummets.
So I wonder....how much does this need for validation have to do with my insecurities?
Or is it more of a problem with my pride, masked as a more acceptable struggle called "low self esteem"?
Lately I've been staring down into an empty cup feeling sorry for myself....knowing full well, there is a source that I'm not tapping into.
Someone who promises to satisfy.
Someone who promises to satisfy.
Someone who actually died in order to give me a life-time supply of validation, in the form of eternity with God in heaven!
When Jesus spent his time on earth he loved everyone who was socially rejected. He upheld the outcast, women and children, the sick, the weird, the ugly. He preached about loving others as, or MORE than ourselves (see Matthew 22:36-40), and as walking humbly with mercy see (micah 6:8). He emphasized the importance of giving to those who cannot repay, who cannot respond in gratitude, who cannot validate (see Luke 6:31-36).
Unreal!So why do I wait for the world to validate me, when I know the Jesus does already? Why do I become so desperate for that "ok" from my peers, long so deeply for my husband to come through with my every need, and feel so empty when I fail...
...when no one, or nothing truly fills my every need?
...when, as a follower of Jesus, I am not supposed to EXPECT validation?
Why do I so often miss the boat, and blame others for not coming through for me.....depend on another human to make me completely happy?
It's really too bad.
Its like I'm blindly holding a cup up to the sky, expecting something to fill it.... when all the while, right beside me, is a powerful, beautiful waterfall thundering down with fresh water.
8.6.11
dry bones in need of life
You can take my dry bones
Breathe life into this skin
You called me by name
Raised me to life again
You can calm the oceans
Speak peace into my soul
Take me as I am
Awaken my heart to beat again
{chorus}
Oh Jesus
Oh Jesus
Oh Jesus
Alive in me!
You move in the unseen
You set the captives free
As I stand and sing
You're breaking the chains off me
{chorus}
{chorus}
Breathe in me Your life
I can feel You are close now
You are here and You know me
All I need is You
And I love You
I love You
I love You
I love You
Breathe in me Your life
'Til Your love overtakes me
Open up my eyes
Let me see You more clearly
Let me see You more clearly
Falling on my knees
'Til I love like You love
Like You love me
I love You
{Chorus}
*
- Joel Timothy Houston; Jill Mc Cloghry
- Aftermath Album, Hillsong United
3.6.11
aging attraction
(summer 2010, US/ Mexican border crossing. we were stressed-hoping the mexicans would let 2 van loads of young people in without suspicion or problem...which one of us looks a little tense??)
I love the fact that Kent is (almost)
I love how he is more attractive to me now, then when we first met 15 years ago. Really!
That "appeal" of his goes beyond the tall, dark and handsome (celebrity double-Vince vaughn) good looks. Its the incredible bonds of familiarity and fondness formed in a marriage over time (and with hard work)....that makes him irresistible! *sorry if this lovey-dovey stuff is making you slightly sick.
That "appeal" of his goes beyond the tall, dark and handsome (celebrity double-Vince vaughn) good looks. Its the incredible bonds of familiarity and fondness formed in a marriage over time (and with hard work)....that makes him irresistible! *sorry if this lovey-dovey stuff is making you slightly sick.
AND I'm counting on the fact that my wrinkles, graying hair, sagging parts, and facial hairs... are just as endearing and attractive to him! Thank you very much.
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