I wrote a post and published it, without actually finishing it as intended. Weird.
Why I did that, I cannot explain. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm not an accomplished writer (by any stretch of the imagination), and so this process of blogging is flawed. I have ideas, antidotes and lessons to share, but my ability to express them is very limited. Recently I have found myself frustrated by that limitation. Or maybe I'm getting pickier about what I'm writing and how I'm writing.... not sure.
At any rate, one thing I am completely certain of is that it is 4:30 in the morning, and I can't get the above mentioned post out of my mind. My intention for "uncovered beauty", was to describe how the elderly ladies protected skin was a visual allegory or metaphor, for how God shields and protects His children. Our earthly bodies may experience extreme pain and suffering, but ultimately God promises to protects us from utter and complete ruin.
But...then I couldn't end the blog with a sweet, tie it all up with a big blue ribbon, kind of ending. I struggled to articulate my thoughts about the "ruin" part, and decided to leave out any sort of spiritual parallel.
I know that with God in my life, nothing is impossible...no darkness to dark and no depth too deep. However how does or how will that play out? Really play out?
Did God promise to shield me from the harshness of this world?
"God only gives us what we can handle?"
Is that true..who said that anyway?
Here's my thinking sometimes...my daughter won't get cancer, my son diabetes... and my husband won't have a heart attack all at the same time...right? Maybe someone else, but not ME.
Lets ask lots of questions. A post of questions...from a sleep deprived woman. Helpful.
But seriously, as a believer, is my heart impermeable to devastation?? Am I deluded to think there are some dark evils and nightmares that will bounce off my life... like rain on an umbrella?
How does that work again?
Alzheimer's disease is pretty devastating....as was the Jewish Holocaust. What about terminal illness, a motherless child, an unloving spouse, or 9-11? What about the woman with 3 children with severe physical and cognitive disabilities, will God's protection save her from a mental breakdown and broken spirit?
And why am I thinking about my blog in the middle of the night anyway?
So frustrating!! I need to stop drinking coffee at 11:30 pm and telling people that I doesn't affect me.
Since I am obviously feeling the weight of my fatigue, I will end this confusing post of questions with reference to an article... I really like what she has to say. I hope you do too.
Good night.
Why I did that, I cannot explain. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm not an accomplished writer (by any stretch of the imagination), and so this process of blogging is flawed. I have ideas, antidotes and lessons to share, but my ability to express them is very limited. Recently I have found myself frustrated by that limitation. Or maybe I'm getting pickier about what I'm writing and how I'm writing.... not sure.
At any rate, one thing I am completely certain of is that it is 4:30 in the morning, and I can't get the above mentioned post out of my mind. My intention for "uncovered beauty", was to describe how the elderly ladies protected skin was a visual allegory or metaphor, for how God shields and protects His children. Our earthly bodies may experience extreme pain and suffering, but ultimately God promises to protects us from utter and complete ruin.
But...then I couldn't end the blog with a sweet, tie it all up with a big blue ribbon, kind of ending. I struggled to articulate my thoughts about the "ruin" part, and decided to leave out any sort of spiritual parallel.
I know that with God in my life, nothing is impossible...no darkness to dark and no depth too deep. However how does or how will that play out? Really play out?
Did God promise to shield me from the harshness of this world?
"God only gives us what we can handle?"
Is that true..who said that anyway?
Here's my thinking sometimes...my daughter won't get cancer, my son diabetes... and my husband won't have a heart attack all at the same time...right? Maybe someone else, but not ME.
Lets ask lots of questions. A post of questions...from a sleep deprived woman. Helpful.
But seriously, as a believer, is my heart impermeable to devastation?? Am I deluded to think there are some dark evils and nightmares that will bounce off my life... like rain on an umbrella?
How does that work again?
Alzheimer's disease is pretty devastating....as was the Jewish Holocaust. What about terminal illness, a motherless child, an unloving spouse, or 9-11? What about the woman with 3 children with severe physical and cognitive disabilities, will God's protection save her from a mental breakdown and broken spirit?
And why am I thinking about my blog in the middle of the night anyway?
So frustrating!! I need to stop drinking coffee at 11:30 pm and telling people that I doesn't affect me.
Since I am obviously feeling the weight of my fatigue, I will end this confusing post of questions with reference to an article... I really like what she has to say. I hope you do too.
Good night.
5 comments:
I am not sleep deprived and I ask/ wonder about these things all the time and often come up with the conclusions in that article. I always tell myself, just get back to the basics,what do you know for sure of Gods will for your life? what do you know without a doubt. That is what has gotten me through. Songs like Blessings by Laura Story really make me think and I often turn the radio off when it is on. I think I have issues. I was once told I needed prayer because I believed Gods will didn't always happen. When i think of this world as not our home, that this is not heaven, that Satan still has power I find it so much easier to pray about things.
Is there a support group for people like me. :)
Be assured that your blog is wonderful, you are a great writer. If ever in doubt just compare it to my comments.
i totally struggle with this too. sometimes i think to myself that my family is exempt for the future because of all the things we've gone through, and the scariest thing is: we are not! also, i almost punched a few people in the face after Jay was born and they told our family that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. who ever feels like they have the right to say that to anyone that is hurting?! the way i see it.. no matter what happens to me, if i stick side by side with God, i won't be alone. no matter what crap hits me. however, that doesn't mean that it'll be easy or that i'll be able to do life without struggling or yelling at God and my situation (or punching other people in the face..) i think that in past situations, if i didn't have faith, i would have NO hope. and that is the way for me, that there is never too much to handle (i use that phrase loosely.. meaning i don't have to "handle" it all perfectly, i can fall apart and not be totally alone) does this make any sense?? basically, i hear you, i agree with you, and sometimes i can drive myself into despair thinking of all the 'what ifs' and what could happen. we aren't alone, that's the hope i have.
please don't mistake me as trying to be the "answer lady"... I googled and came across this article: http://www.revelife.com/680502456/not-in-bible--god-doesnt-give-us-more-than-we-can-handle/
some good answers to all our questions, and a call to turn to the TRUTH in the Word. (the comments have some great scripture passages I'll be leaning on.)
Becky, I wish I was an answer lady instead of question girl sometimes. Thank for the article!
Hey friends~
I think the verse some people get the "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" idea from is 1 Cor 10:13...but that verse is talking about being tempted beyond what we can handle. God will never allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear. I know for certain that I couldn't shoulder the devastation of losing Jay all on my own, and I truly believe that others chose to share the weight of my pain, which God asks us to do in Galatians 6. A couple of seasons ago there was a contestant named Abbey on the show The Biggest Loser. She had lost her two children and husband in a car accident. Often when Everett and Josh travel without me, I really have to battle against letting fear overwhelm me. Having an eternal perspective while we're stuck in these earthly bodies is so difficult sometimes. My favourite verse to read when I was deep in my grief was the story of Lazarus' death and of Jesus weeping. He wept for Mary and Martha...he feels the grief and pain and abandonment. He has compassion for us, who can't see the end from the beginning. I also like the story in Matthew 9, where Jesus explains how easy physical healing is but how hard it is to have the authority to forgive sin. Sin and eternity are big deals. Huge. And we don't realize it most of the time. Anyway, Christine, I think these same thoughts often and am all too aware of the pain and suffering in this world. Some days I am just desperate for Jesus to come and make things right!
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