package

I've been feeling overwhelmed (as i just mentioned in my last post....no, nothing has changed).
I detest that feeling. Its like a bad taste in my mouth that just won't go away.
It makes me wallow and think only of myself.
I hate it.

We sold our home quickly, for which I am incredibly thankful. The last home we tried to sell (5 years ago), sat on the market for 2 months. And with a baby and a busy toddler under my feet, it was torture to clean and prepare last minute for each and every (pointless) showing. SO, this recent experience of selling successfully within a short period of time, was a blessing not to be overlooked or forgotten.

However (there is always a however), even with the positive selling experience under our belt, and the prospect of finding a new home, I am still fighting off the urge to head down a path of discouragement. Every morning, I wake up to the weight of "what if's" and "what''s next?" pressing down, threatening to take over and capture every thought.
I don't want to fixate on something I can't control.
I don't want to obsess about finding another house.
I don't want to feel sorry for myself.

I'm trying to remember (actually memorize) the words of Philippians 4:8, where the bible tells us to think intentionally about things that are "excellent and praiseworthy"...

and that has brought reassurance. (I really should write that verse down 50 times and tape it all over my house-so it really STICKS).

Then yesterday, a package arrived in the mail with the book "one thousand gifts", by Ann Voskamp.
I had ordered it before I hit this slump, and now it seemed like its arrival was perfect timing.
An answer to my prayers ....

Its like a treasure map disguised as a hardcover book.
Inside each chapter is an opportunity to redirect my gaze, and thoughts, from the "poor me's",
to a new place and home of refuge and peace.
A place of gratitude.

Can't wait to start.
Have you read it?

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By the way...I paid 10$ for this book.
Free shipping anywhere in the world, from the Book Depository.
NOT a bad deal!

pruning away the worries (and any mysterious looking plant life)

My little garden patch in the backyard did not get the usual crop of vegetables and flowers planted this spring. I literally threw a few sunflowers seeds along the fence line, and then planted a couple dozen sweet smelling marigolds and petunia's to provide some colour. I was able to enjoy the pretty rewards of my intensive planting regime initially, yet after several weeks of HEAT, low and behold this is what happened...

Can YOU see the marigolds? I can't see the marigolds..... (Think stain commercial). 

A massive clump of greenery that hardly resembled sunflower plants (more like a cross between a tomato plant and a weed), GREW and completely hid my sunshiny faced marigolds from view.
What happened?
My (limited) gardening instincts told me these were NOT a new kind of self-populating/pollinating sunflowers (?), yet I refused to pull them out. I felt it would be a waste to kill such an interesting plant, and secretly hoped they were actually tomato plants that had miraculously grown from sunflower seeds.....(have i mentioned I haven't been feeling well lately?).

Then today, for some unknown reason it dawned on me that perhaps that logic was ridiculous!! Interestingly enough, I also realized that there was a parallel between keeping those silly plants in my flower garden, and allowing my personal crop of useless worries to linger and grow in my brain.
Sadly I've been worrying about the future lately a little too much.
To the point where I can't sleep, and seem to walk around a bit dazed.

And so...there was only one thing left to do.

I marched right up to those overly confident (smug) sunflower/tomato/weed plants, 

and ripped them right out. 

It proved to be quite satisfying.